Day 39: I am Thirsty

"After this, when Jesus knew that all was now finished, he said (in order to fulfil the scripture), ‘I am thirsty.’ A jar full of sour wine was standing there. So they put a sponge full of the wine on a branch of hyssop and held it to his mouth. When Jesus had received the wine, he said, ‘It is finished.’ Then he bowed his head and gave up his spirit." 
-John 19:38-30



 Jesus was a man who always knew exactly what to say.  He would spend hours preaching to crowds of people and pages and pages of my red line Bible are filled with the crimson words of my NASB translation.  He was not afraid to say exactly what those around him needed to hear, especially when they were searching for another answer.  This is especially true as the story of Holy Week unfolds.  He spent a good deal of time speaking to unwilling ears and telling them who he was.  

My favorite times Jesus speaks are not the long sermons.  It’s not the parables he tells.  Both are absolutely important and full of good things to learn.  I get something new from them every single time I read or hear them, but the heart of what I learn from the Gospels are in Jesus’ shorter interactions with people.  He gains followers simply by asking “What do you seek?”  He healed a lame man by simply saying “Pick up your mat and walk.”  There is power in His words.  Perhaps the most powerful of these words is found at the end of today’s Gospel reading.

“After this, Jesus, knowing that all things had already been accomplished, to fulfill the Scripture, said “I am thirsty.”  A jar full of sour wine was standing there; so they put a sponge full of the sour wine upon a branch of hyssop and brought it up to His mouth.  Therefore when Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, “It is finished!”  And he bowed His head and gave up His spirit.”  John 19:28-30

There was nothing left for Jesus to say.  He had said all He was there to say and done all He had come to do.  Jesus knew what was coming next and had told everyone what to be ready for.  After enduring the worst things humans can do to each other, he had two things to say.  First of all he asked for a drink.

The Bible is full of thirst.  Thirst for the spirit, thirst of knowledge and just plain thirst.   God poured water on a thirsty land.  Jesus offered the living water so that whoever drank it would never feel thirst.  Could it be that at the end he was simply thirsty?  Knowing what I know about the things that have been recorded about Jesus, I think it is partly true, but there is also a lesson here.  His last request was a statement.  He was thirsty.  This reminds me that even at the end of life, it is important to keep searching.

A few years ago, a patriarch at my church died somewhat unexpectedly.  He kept his illness quiet until just at the end.  That was who he was.  He didn’t want people fussing over him.  In life he had been a caring, quiet man who was always willing to share his story and knowledge with anyone if they asked, and he had lived a remarkable life.  My dad visited him in the hospital at the end.  The only thing he ever says about this meeting was that when he walked into the room, he was laying on the bed reading.  As they conversed, my dad leaned over to look at the book.  It was written in Greek or Hebrew or some other language most people in my home town have merely heard of but don’t understand.  Even at the very end of his life, he was still learning and still seeking something.

The last words Jesus says before his death on the cross are “It is finished!”  While the gospels don’t agree on his last words, this is what John has written.  These words have power.  As I read these words, I was reminded of the final speech Mr. Magorium gives in the movie Mr Magoriums Wonder Emporium:

“When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He’s written “He dies.” That’s all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is “He dies.” It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with “He dies.” And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it’s only natural to be sad, but not because of the words “He dies,” but because of the life we saw prior to the words. I’ve lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I’m only asking that you turn the page, continue reading… and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest “He died.”

It’s as if these words could have come straight from Jesus himself.  The story of Jesus’ death on the cross is filled with emotion.  I am reminded of the story every year, and every year I watch my mom wipe tears from her eyes.  It is a passage I find easier to read silently than out loud for just that reason.  As Mr. Magorium says, we are “overwhelmed with dysphoria.”  We are sad because of the life that is lost.  The life we see unfolding in those four books in the Bible.  We are sad because of the cruelty we inflict on each other.  These are not the things we are asked to remember, though.  That is not what the Easter story is about.

We are asked to turn the page.  We are asked to keep the story going.  As Christians, we have the blessing of this story that we can use to help share who we are.  We can relate His life “in all its wonder.”  Then we can add, “He died on the cross for us.”

“It is finished!”

Heidi Galagan is 28 years old and from the Diocese of Wyoming. She is currently 
teaching at DCT Canon Andrea Mwaka Primary School, International in 
Dodoma, Tanzania where she enjoys teaching Standard 1 and Standard 4.

Please comment below or 

Sign up on the left to follow by email or 

Check out our blogs on the Follow Our Journeys page 

Thanks for reading!

Day 38: Humble Yourself

"Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going to God, got up from the table,* took off his outer robe, and tied a towel around himself. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was tied around him. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, ‘Lord, are you going to wash my feet?’ Jesus answered, ‘You do not know now what I am doing, but later you will understand.’ Peter said to him, ‘You will never wash my feet.’ Jesus answered, ‘Unless I wash you, you have no share with me.’ Simon Peter said to him, ‘Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!’ Jesus said to him, ‘One who has bathed does not need to wash, except for the feet,* but is entirely clean. And you* are clean, though not all of you.’ For he knew who was to betray him; for this reason he said, ‘Not all of you are clean.’

After he had washed their feet, had put on his robe, and had returned to the table, he said to them, ‘Do you know what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord—and you are right, for that is what I am. So if I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have set you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you." 
-John 13:3-15

I didn't grow up in the Episcopal  Church.  I was raised Southern Baptist, and when I first started attending Episcopal services a few years ago, I remember thinking that some things Episcopalians do are a little strange, with the washing of the feet during the Maundy Thursday service being right at the top of the list.  I know it's a very meaningful part of the Lenten season, but you have to admit it's a little weird.  I'm just saying is all.

But peculiarity aside, it is easy to see the symbolic importance of this ritual.  Christ is teaching us about servant leadership.  You know - the last shall be first, anyone who wishes to be great must humble himself - all that jazz.  But this account of Jesus's last evening with his disciples is so much more than that.  It is a beautiful example of love in the form of friendship.

The twelve apostles were the people Jesus knew best in the world.  They were his constant companions, his coworkers, his BFFs.  He loved them like family.  And this image of Christ kneeling and wiping his disciples' feet with the towel tied around his waist - can you think of a more tender and intimate picture of friendship?  What kind of relationship would you have to have with someone in order to do such a humble service for them?

Christians are called to love the whole world, no exceptions.  But we don't see Jesus washing the feet of everyone He meets, and that is significant.  I don't think we're expected to offer quite this level of vulnerability to total strangers or to our enemies.  This type of love is special, reserved for our closest friends.  Christ has given us a beautiful example of how to honor the people who mean the most to us.

It isn't always easy to accept this kind of love either.  Look at Peter, who tries to stop Jesus from washing his feet.  I think that's a very natural reaction.  Christ isn't the only vulnerable one in this picture.  It takes a certain courage to accept this level of intimacy from a friend.  I'm a bit of a control freak (aren't we all?) and I have trouble accepting help at times, but mission service has a certain way of forcing you to humble yourself and admit that you don't have all the answers, you can't do everything alone.  I've had lots of opportunities to ask my South African friends and coworkers for help, and I like to think I'm getting better at it.  Practice makes perfect, and every time someone comes through for me I get a little bit braver, a little more willing to trust the people around me.

Just take a second to imagine what your relationships with those closest to you would look like if both parties were willing to offer and accept this level of intimacy.  Love that tender is a gift from God, and I can't think of any higher (or harder) calling than to love like Christ loved.

Keri Geiger is 27 years old and from the Diocese of Virginia.  She is a registered nurse 
in the United States and is working as the coordinator for
 inpatient services at Hawston Hospice in Hawston, South Africa.

Please comment below or 

Sign up on the left to follow by email or 

Check out our blogs on the Follow Our Journeys page 

Thanks for reading!

Day 36: Do Not Be Afraid

"And when the chief priests and the scribes heard it, they kept looking for a way to kill him; for they were afraid of him, because the whole crowd was spellbound by his teaching." 
-Mark 11:18






“For they were afraid of him.”

The leaders of the time were afraid of Christ Jesus. Their fear of losing power, fear of losing their followers, fear of change, fear of the unknown guided them to crucify God’s only son – to kill him.  Fear clouded all their judgment and pushed them off the cliff to murder.

They could have stopped and listened to the Good News of Christ. They should have paused to see who Jesus really was. They would have if fear hadn’t stood in their way.

We’ve all heard the saying, “shoulda, woulda, coulda.”

Now I’m sure they justified their actions to themselves and their peers. We can all find reasons or excuses whether they be legitimate or not.  We’ve all been afraid. We’ve all let fear at one point or another stop us from experiencing an adventure, saying ‘I love you’, opening up to one another, to seeing the world.

I could be at home right now telling people, “I could’ve done this amazing year in the Philippines assisting entrepreneurs grow their business, experiencing a new culture, and learning what life is all about, but I was afraid of this, this, and that and passed on the opportunity. I was afraid of the what ifs and unknowns.”

Life is full of unknowns – one being the unknown of when we will die. But Jesus through his resurrection has shown us that there is eternal life. “Everyone who lives and trusts in me will never die.”

Fortunately, I trusted in God. I found him by my side feeding me courage to pack up and travel halfway across the world to have an experience of a lifetime – to live fully. Jesus, also, found courage and power with God at his side to say, “I am the resurrection and I am life.” With God by his side he looked fear in the eye and said I am not afraid.

How many times in the Bible do we come across, “do not be afraid.” Fear holds us hostage from the possibilities, opportunities, connections, love, relationships, and experiences that God desires us to be a part of so we can share the incredible news, to come and see.

“For you, Lord are my hope: you are my confidence, O God,” proclaims Psalm 71 in today’s readings. When we are not afraid, we can hope. When we are not afraid, with confidence God can walk with us out of darkness and into the light of the world. When we are not afraid we can be more open to forgiveness, connection, love, and life.

For God asks us to not be afraid and we should respond, I am not.

Ashley Cameron is 23 years old and from the Diocese of Virginia. 
She greatly enjoys assisting farmers and small entrepreneurs grow their business through 
micro-loans by serving at the Episcopal Development Foundation 
of St. Mark's in the Episcopal Diocese of Santiago, Philippines.

Please comment below or 

Sign up on the left to follow by email or 

Check out our blogs on the Follow Our Journeys page 

Thanks for reading!

Day 33: Focus on God

"O Lord, you have enticed me, and I was enticed; you have overpowered me, and you have prevailed. I have become a laughing-stock all day long; everyone mocks me.  For whenever I speak, I must cry out, I must shout, ‘Violence and destruction! For the word of the Lord has become for me a reproach and derision all day long.  If I say, ‘I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name’, then within me there is something like a burning fire shut up in my bones; I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot.  For I hear many whispering: ‘Terror is all around! Denounce him! Let us denounce him!’ All my close friends are watching for me to stumble. ‘Perhaps he can be enticed, and we can prevail against him, and take our revenge on him.’  But the Lord is with me like a dread warrior; therefore my persecutors will stumble, and they will not prevail. They will be greatly shamed, for they will not succeed. Their eternal dishonour will never be forgotten.  O Lord of hosts, you test the righteous, you see the heart and the mind; let me see your retribution upon them, for to you I have committed my cause. 

Sing to the Lord; praise the Lord! For he has delivered the life of the needy from the hands of evildoers." 
-Jeremiah 20:7-13

We were warned in training for the YASC program that we would have cycles of high points and low points in our attitude and happiness throughout our year. This has certainly been the experience for me—I’ve had two brief breakdowns in my first eight months when I’ve questioned God’s mission for me in Haiti. Fortunately, these have been surrounded by longer stints of happiness and positive vibes. Given that I’ve experienced these ups and downs, it’s no wonder the bi-polar-like passage from Jeremiah was the reading for today that most spoke to me. I certainly don’t compare my low points during my time with YASC to the suffering that Jeremiah is known for having endured, but I can relate to the doubt he has in God and God’s mission for him.

The reading selected for today cuts short a section where Jeremiah is speaking to God after being persecuted by an officer. The selected reading begins with Jeremiah expressing frustration with God, but ends with high praising, “Sing to the Lord; praise the Lord! For he has delivered the life of the needy from the hand of evildoers” (20:13). Pretty uplifting, positive stuff. However, Jeremiah’s speech keeps going and ends like this:

Cursed be the day on which I was born! The day when my mother bore me, let it not be blessed! Cursed be the man who brought the news to my father, “'A son is born to you,' making him very glad. Let that man be like the cities that the Lord overthrew without pity; let him hear a cry in the morning and an alarm at noon, because he did not kill me in the womb; so my mother would have been my grave, and her womb forever great. Why did I come out from the womb to see toil and sorrow, and spend my days in shame?” (20:14-18)

Wow, what emotion! I’m not sure I’ve ever read anything that articulates frustration and anger with quite the same force as this passage. For me his words are dramatic and rather disturbing.

It seems to me that Jeremiah’s frustration and anger come through when he focuses on what is wrong in his life and with the people surrounding him. People mocking him, his proclamations of giving up, the whispering people watching for him to fall, being persecuted and placed in the stocks by Pashhur—he certainly has a long list of negatives on which to dwell. His journey as a prophet was riddled with forces working against him, doubting him, and trying to pull him down. When Jeremiah is focusing on these things, he is in outright despair.

But when Jeremiah focuses on the Lord as his warrior, as an army to judge the wicked, as a deliverer of the needy from the hands of evildoers, he sings of hope! And he commits his cause to God.

When we focus on the flaws of our world, the wrongdoings of our fellow humans, and our own personal shortcomings, we become despondent, resentful and angsty. When we focus on God, we see light and are invigorated to follow a righteous path. When we focus on God, we see the Warrior manifest in the virtues of ourselves and others. When we focus on God, we recognize how we are God’s army of peace, messengers of love, and doers of good things.

Alan Yarborough is serving in Cange, Haiti, representing the Diocese of Western North Carolina 
and the Diocese of Upper South Carolina. He's working in economic development
 for Cange and the surrounding area in the Central Plateau.

Please comment below or 

Sign up on the left to follow by email or 

Check out our blogs on the Follow Our Journeys page 

Thanks for reading!

Day 32: Call to Mind

"Seek the Lord and his strength :
 O seek his face continually.
Call to mind what wonders he has done :
 his marvellous acts, and the judgements of his mouth," 
-Psalm 105:4-5




Have you ever had a moment where you thought God was not listening to you? I know I’ve felt like that. The sad part is sometimes I do give up. I know it’s hard for people to admit that they have given up on God, but everyone has a moment of weakness. In today’s reflection, I look at Psalm 105, where it reminds me that God shows you what wonders he has created.

The moment that you have seen your troubles and ask God “why me,” you tend to forget that maybe there was a reason; you spilled your coffee on you, forgot to pay your parking ticket, or even fell late on paying your bills. The “why me” moments or questions, are actually the answer to why it happens. In the verse 4 it states “seek the lord and his strength” How powerful is that? It is a saying that most of us tend to forget when these “why me” problems happen. For example, I always would turn to God and ask him “why me” when there was a problem, that the only time that I thought I needed him. I didn’t realize until later that I had to seek him and his strength to find an answer.

My nephew helped me started seeking the lord and his strength. When he would come over on Saturdays, I forget my problems because I realized that God’s strength was in my nephew. This is then brought to verse 5 where it states, “Call to mind what wonders he has done, his marvelous acts.” My nephew was the marvelous thing that god created and that was my answer to seeking out the lord. All my “why me” problems went away and I found the answer to those questions.


Your answer to seek the lord is all around us. We are reminded of it when we see the sunrise, play with our dog, spend time with our family, or even just reading a book outside under a tree. We are surrounded by many creations and we must remember that the lord’s strength is when we see his marvelous doings.

Joseph Morin is from the Diocese of West Texas and 
serving in Panama with Iglesia Episcopal San Mateo. 

Please comment below or 

Sign up on the left to follow by email or 

Check out our blogs on the Follow Our Journeys page 

Thanks for reading!

Day 31: Renew in Us

"Almighty God, our heavenly Father, renew in us the gifts of your mercy; increase our faith, strengthen our hope, enlighten our understanding, widen our charity, and make us ready to serve you; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen." 
-Collect for the Wednesday in the Fifth Week




When reading the collect for today, I couldn’t help but reflect on my time during the Catechumenate at my home church in Indianapolis. Not only was that a time of great spiritual growth for me, but also the beginning of my journey to service with the church.

I believe the sole reason I was brought back to the church was to fulfill each one of those things that are asked in the collect. “Renew in us your gifts of mercy”--being confirmed made me all the more aware of the gifts God has given us. No matter how far astray we are led or lead ourselves, God and his infinite mercy is there to reaccept us if we are willing to put our love and faith in him. “Increase our faith, Enlighten our understanding”--I would be lying if I didn’t say I wanted to be confirmed to satiate a hunger for knowledge of the Church. While that may have been the guiding light for me, the end result was something I never expected, a faith inside me that was awakened that I never knew existed. I now understood what people were talking about when they spoke of their faith and relationship with God. “Widen our charity”--While working towards confirmation, I joined the missions committee on a trip to Haiti. I had never once in my life done anything of the sort and fell in love with not only how I felt after helping others, but seeing what I could bring to those in need. The feeling was something that was addicting and lead to the last of the requests of God “make us ready to serve you”--Today as I sit in my room in Japan, I realize none of this would have ever been possible if I one does not ask God to give us the strength to realize our potential. It makes me believe that when you pray to God “Give me this/that” you will never see the fruits of your labor, but when you ask God “Give me the strength and skills for me to accomplish things in your name.”, now that is something you will see come to fruition. To me, the collect represents the journey of becoming ready to serve YASC.

Charlotte File is 25 years old and from the Diocese of Indianapolis serving the Diocese of 
Yokohama at the Kiyosato Educational Experiment Project in Japan. When she is not shoveling her 
way out of the snow still on the ground, she enjoys eating every new Japanese food she can find. 

Please comment below or 

Sign up on the left to follow by email or 

Check out our blogs on the Follow Our Journeys page 

Thanks for reading!

Day 30: Be a Light

"They said to him, ‘Who are you?’ Jesus said to them, ‘Why do I speak to you at all? I have much to say about you and much to condemn; but the one who sent me is true, and I declare to the world what I have heard from him.’ They did not understand that he was speaking to them about the Father. So Jesus said, ‘When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will realize that I am he,* and that I do nothing on my own, but I speak these things as the Father instructed me.  And the one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what is pleasing to him.’ As he was saying these things, many believed in him."  -John 8:25-30

Have you ever really thought about what it would have been like to live in the time of Jesus? Meeting Jesus in a time machine kind of way would be fantastic: go back, ask him all of the nagging theological questions, come back, write a book, immediately be appointed to Fordham’s (my alma mater’s) faculty. But to live in the time of Jesus? That would be terrifying. When I read this passage, I can feel the trepidation, the lack of comprehension, the feeling of “is this guy the real deal?”

Last summer I traveled to Capadocia, Turkey, which was one of the places where early Christianity took root. It is a stunning region, full of crazy rock formations and out-of-this-world food. It also has a UNESCO World Heritage Site that contains some of its cave churches. Visiting was a startling experience. Outside, they were just unassuming cave structures, like the thousands of other structures surrounding them. But inside, they were full of amazing murals depicting the life of Christ. Christians fled to this corner of the world and had to practice their religion in secret---even adding secret exits to many of the churches. If they got caught practicing Christianity, they could be killed. And yet they did it.  

{That's a Church!}

We usually think about God and Jesus and the Resurrection and Ascension through the lens of 2014 years of The Church. The Church has made this faith incredibly socially acceptable. But let’s go back for a minute to those who walked beside Christ, to those who walked just after Christ. They were rebels, they were rule-breakers, they were people who made tremendous personal sacrifice to be with this guy:  this Holy, Blessed, Godly guy. Sure, he had done some awesome miracles and there were tremendous rumors going around about him, but with all of these lingering questions, these doubts, these threats being put out by the government, would you have believed? Would you have dropped everything and followed him? Would you have fought for him?  Would you have worshiped in a cave?

Fortunately for us, we don’t have to answer these questions. But we can talk about how we live our faith: do we hide it under a bushel or do we let it shine like the mountain on top of a hill it is meant to be? Let us be a light to the nations and the city upon a hill.

Julie Burd is 23 and from the Diocese of Pennsylvania. She lives in Leogane, Haiti 
where, when not running away from charging goats, she teach 
English at a nursing school and work in a hospital. 

Please comment below or 

Sign up on the left to follow by email or 

Check out our blogs on the Follow Our Journeys page 

Thanks for reading!

Day 29: I Shall Not Want

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures.
 He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil,
for you are with me; your rod and your staff,
they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
 forever." 
-Psalm 23:1-6



This is a verse that I’m sure most of you are very familiar with. It is something we have recited time and time again, and even memorized. But this time that I sat down to look at it, I realized that I’ve never truly meditated and reflected on what it truly means.

When I read it this time, the first line was particularly powerful to me. “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” I shall not want – this line is especially relevant in the world that we live in today, and is the line that I want to focus on. We seem to live in a world full of “want” and “desire”, but no matter have much we have find that we are never quite satisfied. We find ourselves wanting more. We want the next upgrade of the iPhone, we want a new car, we want to make more money, we want a bigger house, we want a better job, etc. And that is exactly what I think this verse is advising against this – these types of superficial wants and desires.

Psalm 23 is telling us that we shouldn’t want because the Lord is our shepherd – he will provide for all that we need. In fact, another version of this verse says, “The Lord is my shepherd, I have everything I need.” But that’s the thing, and often where the lines get blurry. What do we really need? The problem is, we as human beings tend to have a different idea of what we think we need than what God thinks that we need. Yet not only do we feel that we need these things, but we often have the attitude of “I need it, and I need it now.” But as we have heard time and time again, it is not about what we want, but what God wants. And He is going to do it in his own time, regardless of your current plan.

Ironically, I was reminded of this conflict between “wants” and “needs” this past weekend. I was able to travel to a community in the interior of Panama with a few other people from the diocese, and we were able to learn and observe the culture and way of life. We learned that the community has prevalent health issues as well as a continuous lack of running water. Many of the members are self-reliant and produce and grow their own food, and have just enough to provide for their own family. Yet, despite all obstacles, they are some of the happiest and loving people I have ever met. As a community as a whole, they live a joyful and satisfied life. One woman that I met said, “I am a woman of little money, but I do have a lot of good friends. For that, I am always thankful. I have what I need.”

Meanwhile, I (and I assume many of you) come from a culture that seems to feel that what we “need” is to have constant access to the world of technology, whether it be Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, the TV, or whatever else. But that’s just it – we don’t need them to survive, we don’t need them to be happy. These types of wants actually seem to do more damage by creating a distraction from what is actually important. God created us to be present, to be part of a community that loves and supports one another. He doesn’t want us to be preoccupied by our wants, but to be satisfied by what we have. Because He is our Shepherd, we have everything that we need. And although this is hard to accept at times, that we don’t actually need all the things that we think that we need, God is asking us to accept it because He knows what’s good for us and He ultimately knows what we need.

Now, I’m not saying that you need to immediately drop any idea of what you want, sell all of your TVs and electronic devices, and move to a smaller house - I am simply saying that we should daily take steps closer to help us be present. We should consciously be aware of our desires and that maybe they aren’t what is most important, and to trust that the Lord will provide. Because the Lord is our shepherd, we have everything that we need.

Rachel Carter is 22 years old and from the Diocese of East Carolina. 
She is currently serving in Panama City, Panama. She is teaching 
World History for 9th and 10th grade at St. Christopher's Episcopal School in Panama.

Please comment below or 

Sign up on the left to follow by email or 

Check out our blogs on the Follow Our Journeys page 

Thanks for reading!

Day 28: Detach, Detach, and Hatch

"This kind can come out only through prayer."  -Mark 9:29





Our reading from the ninth chapter of Mark’s Gospel follows the Transfiguration of Jesus. And I have heard time and time again that the Transfiguration isn’t the most important story in this chapter of Mark—that the most important story is our reading, the story of Jesus healing the boy with the spirit. The preference is in the imagery, and what the imagery suggests about the priorities of Christian life: instead of Jesus allowing the three disciples present at the Transfiguration—Peter, James, and John—to build shrines to commemorate and relish such a supernatural and revelatory experience, he quickly accompanies them down the mountain, from the pinnacle of ecstasy to the squalor of human depravity. The message is that the mystical should wash into the main-stream. Our mountaintop experiences should move us to sing the story of glory with the people of the valley. But, I don’t want to take that angle today.

When Jesus and the three disciples descended the mountain they came upon a man that desperately desired for his son to be released from the hold of a demonic spirit. The spirit made the boy unable to speak or hear. The father explained to Jesus that he’d petitioned Jesus’ disciples to rebuke the spirit, but to no avail. So, Jesus, seemingly a little frustrated with his “faithless” disciples told the man that, “…all things can be done for one who believes.” The man declared his belief, and Jesus rebuked the spirit. And the boy became fully integrated—he became whole. When the disciples asked Jesus, “privately,” Mark writes, why they couldn’t drive out the spirit, Jesus responded, “this kind can come out only through prayer.”

In Lent we seek to overcome those spirits or things that keep us from hearing the still small voice of God, and from speaking life, and love—the language of God—into the spaces in which we live and occupy. In Lent we rest in temporary discomfort as we long to become more whole through the resurrection of a self more in-tune with the person of Jesus, more aware of the mind of Christ. However, we can never be unbound from those things that close our ears and sully our mouths unless we enter into the heart of Christ—we can never become detached from spirits that distract us unless we practice, with Christ, detachment, unless we separate from the bustle of life that screams in our ears and causes us to the wind, and practice, with Christ, listening for the still small voice of God. To employ familiar imagery, the mountaintop experience of being with Christ in the presence of God is what we carry with us when we return to the world of noise and things.

Let us remember, this Lent, that the only way that we can drive out the spirit of noisiness, the only way that we can be raised with Christ to new life, using God’s love language, is by believing that God speaks to us and through us; and, that belief comes by way of practicing detachment, practicing prayer.

Paul Daniels, II is 23 years old and from the Diocese of North Carolina. He is the Student and Young Adult Minister at the Anglican Cathedral in Grahamstown, South Africa; as well as the Intellectual Ministries Chair for Christian's at Rhodes (C@R), a non-profit ecumenical Christian student organization at Rhodes University in Grahamstown, South Africa.

Please comment below or 

Sign up on the left to follow by email or 

Check out our blogs on the Follow Our Journeys page 

Thanks for reading!

Day 26: Worthy of Love

"The LORD said to Moses, ‘Go down at once! Your people, whom you brought up out of the land of Egypt, have acted perversely; they have been quick to turn aside from the way that I commanded them; they have cast for themselves an image of a calf, and have worshipped it and sacrificed to it, and said, “These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt!” ’But Moses implored the LORD his God, and said, ‘O LORD, why does your wrath burn hot against your people, whom you brought out of the land of Egypt with great power and with a mighty hand? Why should the Egyptians say, “It was with evil intent that he brought them out to kill them in the mountains, and to consume them from the face of the earth”? Turn from your fierce wrath; change your mind and do not bring disaster on your people. Remember Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, your servants, how you swore to them by your own self, saying to them, “I will multiply your descendants like the stars of heaven, and all this land that I have promised I will give to your descendants, and they shall inherit it for ever.” ’ And the LORD changed his mind about the disaster that he planned to bring on his people." 
-Exodus 32:7-8, 11-14



We all have a desire to make connections. We all have a desire to belong. We all have a desire to be loved. It’s part of being human. We are hardwired for it.

But how do we make these connections?

Vulnerability. In order to make connections with one another, we have to show up and allow ourselves to be seen.

Brené Brown, author of Daring Greatly and researcher of vulnerability, writes and speaks greatly about the importance of accepting vulnerability in our own lives. As she points out in her book and TEDxHouston Talk, nobody wants to talk about vulnerability but we can’t ignore it. To become numb to vulnerability is to become numb to all emotions.

“Our rejection of vulnerability often stems from our associating it with dark emotions like fear, shame, grief, sadness, and disappointment – emotions that we don’t want to discuss, even when they profoundly affect the way we live, love, work and even lead,” writes Brown. We need to realize vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings. Brown explains, “I know vulnerability is the core of shame, and fear and our struggle for worthiness but it appears it is also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.”

If we become numb to vulnerability, yes, we become numb to those dark emotions and fear nobody wants to feel. However, we also numb happiness, joy, gratitude, and then we become lost searching for our purpose and meaning. We lose our connections. We become disengaged. We live in fear. We think we are weak. We believe we are unworthy of love and belonging.

But why do we become numb?

We feel shame. We wake up every day and say, “I’m not _____(blank)”. I’m not thin enough. I’m not brave enough. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not good enough. I’m not perfect.

And it’s that feeling of imperfection that we all struggle with. It’s that desire to be perfect or bulletproof that stops us from feeling vulnerable. It stops us from sharing an unpopular opinion, to asking for help, saying no, trying something new, saying “I love you” first, and not knowing if you’re going to be loved back, having faith.

When I imagine God, I think of him as all knowing, untouchable, free of shame and vulnerability. However, God’s core is full of emotions. And in today’s reading of Exodus, we see God’s vulnerability out in the open. He opened himself up to make connections. He said, “I love you,” first to the Israelites, who began worshipping a cow instead of finding God worthy enough to worship. A cow! Well, that’s a little insulting.

Then the feeling of shame started bubbling up. God couldn’t let the Egyptians know he went through all this trouble to free, to engage, to connect with the Israelites only to be rejected by them. He couldn’t let them know he dared greatly and failed. But Moses comes to remind the Lord that everyone is worthy of love and belonging even these who worship the image of a calf. And so the Lord lets go of his shame realizing that opening the possibility of a connection with the Israelites is worth it even if he fails.

And throughout the Bible, God has the courage, becomes vulnerable, has faith to say “I love you,” “you are worthy of love,” and “you are worthy of this connection with me,” even if he’s unsure the people will accept him in return.

As Brown says, “vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.” They may not always be comfortable feelings, but they are not weakness. The sense of courage allows for wholehearted living, a deep sense of worthiness. Courage comes from the Latin word “cour” meaning heart. The original definition when it first came into the English language was to tell the whole story of who you are with your whole heart. 

Throughout her years of research Brown found she could divide the people she interviewed into those who had a sense of worthiness and belonging and those who struggle for it, those who wonder if they are always good enough. Brown called the people with a sense of worthiness, the Wholehearted. They are the people who have had a spiritual awakening, a sense of belonging, and a sense of courage.

Brown defines Wholehearted living as “engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone. I am enough. 

That’s what God is telling us day in and day out, “you are enough. I love you for who you are. I love you for all your imperfections. You are worthy of my love. You are worthy of your own love.”

Imagine if we all had this spiritual awakening. If we lived a while hearted life embracing vulnerability, not numbing our emotions. Not only would God tell us we are worthy of love and belonging, but we could tell others. We need to open ourselves up to connections and accepting ourselves and everyone else for their imperfections. Because we are all good enough.

Almighty and most merciful God, drive from us all weakness of body, mind and spirit; that, being restored to wholeness, we may with free hearts become what you intend us to be and accomplish what you want us to do; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. 

AMEN.

Ashley Cameron is 23 years old and from the Diocese of Virginia. 
She greatly enjoys assisting farmers and small entrepreneurs grow their business through 
micro-loans by serving at the Episcopal Development Foundation 
of St. Mark's in the Episcopal Diocese of Santiago, Philippines.

Please comment below or 

Sign up on the left to follow by email or 

Check out our blogs on the Follow Our Journeys page 

Thanks for reading!

Day 21: More Questions

"One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’There is no commandment greater than these.” “Well said, teacher,” the man replied. “You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him. To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.” When Jesus saw that he had answered wisely, he said to him, “You are not far from the kingdom of God.” And from then on no one dared ask him any more questions. " -Mark 12: 28-34

What do you mean no one dared to ask Jesus any more questions? Wouldn’t you want to ask more questions about how exactly to do the Great Commandment? So I am to love God—what exactly does that entail? Is it praying, fasting, giving thanks, and going to church every Sunday? Is it connected to loving others because of the piece of God that lives in them?

I’ve spent much of my life around people who are very similar to me—similar religion, skin tone, socioeconomic status, nationality, physical and mental ability, similar criminal record (or lack thereof)—people who are easier for me to love, but how do I love those who are different than myself?

How do I love someone who kills, cheats on their spouse, or steals? Do I act impartially to them when I am around them? Do I extend them the same trust as I would to my best friend? What does forgiveness look like?

How do I love someone who experiences the mental and physical pain of not having enough to eat? Do I give them food? Money? A hug? Some of my time? Is love balancing my relative financial wealth with their relative financial poverty? What does solidarity look like?

How do I love someone who manipulates a charity for their own personal benefit? Do I excuse their offenses? Do I have to acknowledge them every day? Do I call them out? What does honesty look like?
How do I love people who make assumptions about me and treat me differently because of my race (or any other characteristic)? Do I explain/defend myself to them? Do I point out their prejudice? What does respect look like?

I’m to treat others as I would like to be treated, right? If I’ve not known the fear of one who doesn’t know where the next meal will come from, how do I love the hungry? If I have not known the bitter wind and cold for a night, how do I love the homeless? If I have not known immense wealth, how am I to love the wealthy? If I have not known the isolation of 20 years to life in prison, how am I to love the imprisoned? If I have not known what it is like to have power, how am I to love the powerful?

When I look to others claiming to express love, how do I discern what is actually love? Some believe homosexuality is a sin, and they call out gay people’s sin because they don’t want them to go to hell—is that love? I hear news about a priest who is put in jail because he believes same-sex couples should have the right to marry—is that love?

What does love look like over time? What is love in a fleeting moment with a homeless woman on the street corner? What is love with my significant other with which I’ll spend my lifetime?

I often feel like love is a verb, but sometimes I’m left not knowing what to do. Can I just spend time with others? Can I just listen to their story? Can I just be vulnerable with them? Can I just recognize and appreciate what we have in common? Is just being there enough, or is their more I can do?

What other questions do you wish the scribe had asked Jesus about the Great Commandment? Where might you find answers?

Alan Yarborough is serving in Cange, Haiti, representing the Diocese of Western North Carolina 
and the Diocese of Upper South Carolina. He's working in economic development
 for Cange and the surrounding area in the Central Plateau.

Please comment below or 

Sign up on the left to follow by email or 

Check out our blogs on the Follow Our Journeys page 

Thanks for reading!

Day 20: Thin Skin

"But this command I gave them, ‘Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and you shall be my people; and walk only in the way that I command you, so that it may be well with you.’ Yet they did not obey or incline their ear, but, in the stubbornness of their evil will, they walked in their own counsels, and looked backwards rather than forwards. From the day that your ancestors came out of the land of Egypt until this day, I have persistently sent all my servants the prophets to them, day after day; yet they did not listen to me, or pay attention, but they stiffened their necks. They did worse than their ancestors did. So you shall speak all these words to them, but they will not listen to you. You shall call to them, but they will not answer you. You shall say to them: This is the nation that did not obey the voice of the Lord their God, and did not accept discipline; truth has perished; it is cut off from their lips." -Jeremiah 7: 23-28

Whenever I read verses, my first instinct is to use these words as a meter to reflect on my own behavior. And it usually isn't positive or encouraging. A dear friend and I Skyped yesterday, and we talked about how we feel we're losing our magic receptors (or in this case, the ability to "incline their ear") - that sacred perspective where there's nowhere to be, nothing to do... there is just a freedom and a graceful ease with which to relish the world around you. I call it "thin skin" - where you can listen with your whole body and the world floods in, swallowing you and your egotistical identity in the process.

But then work happens, or TV ads that reminds you you're too fat, or a friend's Facebook profile that says you really should get your act together on that grad school thing, or Buzzfeed's Top 10 Habits of Successful People and you only have 3 of them... it's exhausting, and there's no end. And so, as I read this verse, I want to protest but I'm doing the best I can! It's not my fault no one ever taught me HOW to listen!

Now, it always bothered me that the Bible seems to speak in big generalities: they did not listen to me... They did worse than their ancestors. How can I be extraordinary or good if you keep bunching me in with the rest of humanity? If we look around us, some people are clearly evil, some are saints, and some are the in-betweeners. But, like my first reading, this is still all about me. It's all about what I think of others, it's my own classification system of what's right and wrong. Here in El Salvador, I see human rights workers, I see corrupt politicians, friends who's boyfriends beat them in private, people who complain too much, people who are far too generous, people who I think are lazy until I discover what they do when I'm not watching, women who cook the best meal in the world and charge $2.50 a plate... at some point my categories are inadequate.

One of my favorite authors, Saul Alinsky (the Yoda of community organizing back in the 60s and 70s) has a great quote: "It is equally difficult for you to surrender that little image of God created in our own likeness, which lurks in all of us and tells us that we secretly believe that we know what’s best for the people." So long as we hold the ultimate authority between our ears, it's a lose-lose as often we are both our biggest advocate and our biggest critic. I will never meet my own standards, but I also will never stop pushing myself to try. But over these past few months, as my standards get higher and higher, I find I've lost that "thin skin." When there is always something more to do, I cannot listen. If someone truly was trying to reach me, "day after day," I doubt I would hear them.
And so I went back a few verses to figure just what command it was that humanity failed to obey:

Hear the word of the Lord, all you people of Judah, you that enter these gates to worship the Lord. Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel: Amend your ways and your doings, and let me dwell with you in this place. Do not trust in these deceptive words: ‘This is the temple of the Lord, the temple of the Lord, the temple of the Lord.’  (Jeremiah 7.2-7.4)

God only seeks to dwell with us. We do not surrender our egos to supplant it with another authority whom we blindly follow. We just have to give up the right to be right. It is the scariest thing in the world, to admit you don't know, but if we are to preserve our ability to speak truth, first we have to admit that we don't know it. We can't condemn others, and perhaps most importantly, we can't condemn ourselves.

Hannah Perls is 24 from the Diocese of Olympia, WA. She is serving with 
human rights NGO, Foundation Cristosal, in El Salvador. Other common names 
now include Hanoch, Hannah Montana, and Broccoli Top (Broc top for short).

Please comment below or 

Sign up on the left to follow by email or 

Check out our blogs on the Follow Our Journeys page 

Thanks for reading!

Day 19: We Are Nothing Without Love

"Now, Israel, hear the decrees and laws I am about to teach you. Follow them so that you may live and may go in and take possession of the land the Lord, the God of your ancestors, is giving you.  Do not add to what I command you and do not subtract from it, but keep the commands of the Lord your God that I give you."
-Deuteronomy 4:1-2




I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know a lot about the Bible. I can’t quote verses or tell you what book comes before or after another book, but I do know that a lot of times verses can have different meanings depending on how you look at them. The first time I read this passage from Deuteronomy, I was a little annoyed, because I believe that spirituality and belief can be very fluid. “Where’s the flexibility?” I wondered. “You must neither add anything to what I command you nor take away anything from it, but keep the commandments of the Lord your God with which I am charging you” Deuteronomy 4:2. It’s very strict. But after reading the words a few times, I had an “aha” moment.

We learn, most of us, from a very young age about the Ten Commandments. And what do the Ten Commandments say really? Don’t hurt each other, love God and each other, and treat each other with respect. This is essentially what the Ten Commandments boil down to, these are the only rules we need to follow in our lives, and this is what I believe the passage is talking about. I believe that this passage is telling us that we have to treat everyone well and it doesn’t matter if their belief system is different from ours.

The Christian tradition, historically and now, is one of persecution. There has always been someone who is wrong, who is not welcome, who is different and we shut them out because of these differences. How do we follow the commandments God gave us, and only those commandments, if we continue to persecute people who believe in something different from what we believe? What are we teaching our children and our children’s children and those who come after with these actions. Are we really protecting each other, loving each other, respecting each other?

So what I believe this passage is saying, is that regardless of someone’s belief systems, race, sexuality, coffee preference, we don’t hurt each other. We love each other. We treat each other with respect. By doing this, we follow God’s commandments and only God’s commandments. We don’t add, we don’t take away. By doing this, we fill the world with love. We teach love to those who come after us. Because we are nothing without love.

Claire Harkey is 26 years old and from the Diocese of Mississippi. 
She currently spends her days hanging out with the high school students of 
La Escuela Episcopal El Buen Pastor in San Pedro Sula, Honduras.

Please comment below or 

Sign up on the left to follow by email or 

Check out our blogs on the Follow Our Journeys page 

Thanks for reading!